For every person out there who says that fairy tales aren't real? Let me tell you, I have a story that will prove you all wrong. This is my Cinderella esports story. The characters are amazing people and the plot has some unexpected twists and turns. Stop me if you've heard this one, because I would really like to identify the voice in my head. Now, I present to you, the one-hundred percent truthful story of working for SetToDestroyX for almost seven months (and counting).
The Story...
Every time I get a text or message from Charlie, my heart skips a beat like the day of my interview. A few days before Thanksgiving, my buddy Fitz encouraged me to apply to the organization for a writing position. I was nervous and part of me thought there was no way I would be chosen. Shortly after I had surgery to remove my gallbladder (the day before Thanksgiving) and an unforgettable chain of events happened after that.
Only a day or two after being on bed rest, I remember getting on a call with Charlie, for my interview. Almost immediately, my thoughts began to race, my heart was pounding and I was telling myself not to cry. The rest of you may try to tell me that an interview is nothing to fear, but for me, fearing everything every day is something out of my control. Before I dive headlong into the interview I should probably bring light to a few things.
Currently, I am twenty-four years old. About five to six years ago, after being in therapy my whole life, I had gotten tested, because it seemed my anxiety and depression issues were growing. At that time I had also applied for disability, because it's near impossible for me to function in a lot of social settings. The test results came back saying I had Agoraphobia, MDD, ADHD and adjustment disorder. When going over the results I was told I showed traits of bipolar and autism, but not to the point where it could be clinically diagnosed. It was a lot to take in, but I really didn't want to keep living in a box. Over the years, I turned to writing and gaming to help me cope. It's been my dream to work for an esports organization as a writer and how that came true is a mystery to me, still.
Getting back to the interview, let me explain how I approached my application. Everyone says it's okay to fudge your applications for anything, a little bit, but I'm not like that. I believe in absolute honesty. There were places where it wanted a portfolio and such, but well, I'm not a professional writer (yet). I honestly admitted I had never done work like this and had nothing to show for it. After doing a mock article for Charlie, I was kind of holding my breath. The interview felt like it went well, but without any experience, I was uncertain about getting the job. To my surprise, I was officially brought in a couple days later. November 28, 2016 is when I got the news and is a date I will never forget.
At some point I remember telling Charlie I wasn't sure why he had chosen me, but when he told me he just had a good feeling about me, it made me feel good to know he was a man who picked people based on character and not just experience. That being said, I received a warm welcome upon joining the group, but it was also a very daunting experience. Between getting set up on Skype and Discord via groups, my anxiety hit a new high and I was sure I would never get used to talking to anyone through either. I also very quickly learned how many people were under the brand and how fast things moved.
The first couple projects I did for SetToDestroyX weren't exactly on deadline and one project I got sick during and felt bad turning it in late, but I fessed up and did it anyways. I have this thing about disappointing people...I hate it! It's my goal to be on time and to do the job right. In the very beginning I wasn't big on asking for clarification or any questions pertaining to my requested tasks. It made me rather jittery about whether or not I was doing what was asked of me. However, as I began to work on press releases and began to study, on my own, journals and tips online about how to conduct these types of articles, I grew more comfortable, but plenty of things still stood in my way.
A couple months after being brought on, I had promised a couple people I would help with a couple writing problems and I fell through. It's probably one of my biggest triggers when I wind up disappointing someone. For a couple weeks, I had shut down completely. My activity on twitter nearly halted and I stopped a YT/BO2 Challenge I had set for myself. I couldn't stop self sabotaging and it was beginning to reflect in what I consider the laziness of my work. More recently I had another personal meltdown, but both times something pretty incredible happened.
A lot of orgs and teams claim to be family, but when big things go down, I've seen many break apart. People like Rake and Joseph have always jumped on my tweets when something seems to be going on. Being able to rant and get things out in the open in a safe way makes SetToDestroyX a cut above the rest. It okay for us to be honest about personal things and someone is always there to lend an encouraging word.
One thing I must admit I struggle with is the lack of feedback at times. My agoraphobia takes a hold of me and I begin to fret that I didn't do enough or forgot parts I was asked to include. Being a writer in an esports organization is nothing glamorous. A lot of writers go unnoticed. Most people read the words on the page but don't quite understand how they get there. Though I don't go looking for glory, it's nice to see people in StDx tell me I've done a good job. The reason I take it to heart is because it's my responsibility to tell a story and get the facts right. I want to make sure that whoever is being represented gets the most out of their story that they can, no matter the topic. To be honest, I really wouldn't want to be in the spotlight, because my agoraphobia would push me to the deep end. I enjoy writing a piece and seeing fans and members congratulating and welcoming one another after reading who they are or what people have done.
Truth be told, I have no real formal training. I write in my own style and my own way, while following the minimal guidelines to writing certain formats. My greatest goal is to show my voice, passion and personal touch with my writing and because of the support of SetToDestroyX, I've grown more confident in the pieces I'm asked to do. The way I see it, no feedback is better than bad feedback.
I've been told on several occasions that I'm doing what I'm supposed to, but I've also heard the 'we need to work harder' or 'we need to find new ways to go above and beyond.' Though there's been no complaints about my writing, I've often been thinking about what I can do to go above and beyond. During one meeting, I suggested that I would be doing interviews with members, but again I never took the initiative. Again, my work began to slack until recently. New ideas are in the works and I can't wait to share with you all what the future holds for me at SetToDestroyX.
The People...
I would like to highlight some key people who have played a big role in my life since joining StDx.
One thing I must admit I struggle with is the lack of feedback at times. My agoraphobia takes a hold of me and I begin to fret that I didn't do enough or forgot parts I was asked to include. Being a writer in an esports organization is nothing glamorous. A lot of writers go unnoticed. Most people read the words on the page but don't quite understand how they get there. Though I don't go looking for glory, it's nice to see people in StDx tell me I've done a good job. The reason I take it to heart is because it's my responsibility to tell a story and get the facts right. I want to make sure that whoever is being represented gets the most out of their story that they can, no matter the topic. To be honest, I really wouldn't want to be in the spotlight, because my agoraphobia would push me to the deep end. I enjoy writing a piece and seeing fans and members congratulating and welcoming one another after reading who they are or what people have done.
Truth be told, I have no real formal training. I write in my own style and my own way, while following the minimal guidelines to writing certain formats. My greatest goal is to show my voice, passion and personal touch with my writing and because of the support of SetToDestroyX, I've grown more confident in the pieces I'm asked to do. The way I see it, no feedback is better than bad feedback.
I've been told on several occasions that I'm doing what I'm supposed to, but I've also heard the 'we need to work harder' or 'we need to find new ways to go above and beyond.' Though there's been no complaints about my writing, I've often been thinking about what I can do to go above and beyond. During one meeting, I suggested that I would be doing interviews with members, but again I never took the initiative. Again, my work began to slack until recently. New ideas are in the works and I can't wait to share with you all what the future holds for me at SetToDestroyX.
The People...
I would like to highlight some key people who have played a big role in my life since joining StDx.
Charlie (@StDxCharlie)
There really isn't much I can say about Charlie that hasn't been said or I haven't said before. This is a guy who goes above and beyond on the daily. Not only did he take a chance on me knowing I lacked experience, but he is the reason I've been inspired to take the lead and lend my creative ability to new written content for the organization. He is an honest man who never cuts corners and always takes time out of working for his family, who has been supportive of him making his dreams come true. Though I don't always speak in meetings or chats, I read everything he posts and pay attention to all the content he releases. Knowing he works hard, I make it my job to make sure I'm in the know, even when I don't have to be.
Nick (@StDxRake)
Nick (@StDxRake)
Nick is one of the people who helped bring me in to StDx. Right from the start, I knew he was a laid back, awesome guy. He helps care for the image of the org and also reaches out when people are having problems across the board. Though I know it's not always easy, I appreciate it when he's taken time in the past to talk through things with me or give his two cents. Honest, real and dedicated to his work, he's an all around inspiration to not only our streamers, but all of us as an org.
Britt (@StDxDark)
Britt (@StDxDark)
Probably the most energetic person I've met, yet. She's not only dedicated to her work with StDx, but she also helped bring an Overwatch team together and is a wonderful manager. When she starts to slack, it's amazing watching her kick it into overdrive. Always something positive is coming from this girl. She's always chimed in with jokes and nice things to say to me. I'm currently working with her to bring light to the Overwatch team and it's been more than fun so far!
Jared (@StDxVisions)
Jared (@StDxVisions)
Jared has popped up now and again and also helped bring me in to StDx. He's the kind of guy where when it seems he goes quiet, he suddenly pops up again with a ton of work completed under his belt. Both he and Charlie seem to work late nights just to keep the org running. He's a very real and interactive person and I'm really happy to know him.
What's Next...
I would like to keep pushing myself and proving myself as a writer, to stay with SetToDestroyX for as long as I can. This is an incredible organization and I can never give back to them as much as they have given me. I'm close to my seventh month mark and the first goal I set for myself was to write for them for a year. In order to push my worth to the group further, I've enacted the help of several pros and our Overwatch team to create a new one on one interview segment for StDx that I hope to release later this week or next. There's no telling what the future will hold for me next.
Links and Stuff...
SetToDestroyX
Website
Twitter
I would like to keep pushing myself and proving myself as a writer, to stay with SetToDestroyX for as long as I can. This is an incredible organization and I can never give back to them as much as they have given me. I'm close to my seventh month mark and the first goal I set for myself was to write for them for a year. In order to push my worth to the group further, I've enacted the help of several pros and our Overwatch team to create a new one on one interview segment for StDx that I hope to release later this week or next. There's no telling what the future will hold for me next.
Links and Stuff...
SetToDestroyX
Website
CattyNoir
